I was told by a nice man that I worked for once that I should keep a portfolio of my work. I wish I would have listened, but I assumed it was intellectual property of the company. I rewrote the company’s polices and procedures for their sales processes. I got my information to create an accompanying flow chart map from post-it notes stuck to brown paper, taped to the walls all around me. Gosh, I froze in that office. All my work helped the company pass their first audit for ISO certification. I was so pleased I quit. No really, I tend to be impulsive and it was a long commute, not a lot of pay and sometimes if the nice man I worked for, who was also a contractor, wasn’t in the office that day, the owners sent me home. Looking back, I should have stayed to complete the deal to its finality. It was actually my father who pushed me to quit. But we learn. They are doing well, however.
I’m changing things up a bit. I jumped right into this and now feel the woes of my impulsiveness. I’m now four months deep and I feel everything is off. Sometimes, I’m afraid to post. But I read other blogger’s advice and taking action, albeit slow, but hey, at least I know and want to make this site SOMETHING of significance. It is, but to other’s as well. I never wanted it to just be a personal thing, or I would have made it that way.
I’ve come to love those who follow me. I envy that sometimes they’ve actualized an idea before I got to it, or that I really do need some well-meaning advice on how to get more traffic. I want to be liked and most importantly, give this site a meaning. Make it stand out. As it stands now, it’s just one more of the same – a clusterfuck of things I’m interested in.
When I first started out, nothing mattered at that point. But now, I want more for it. I love to write. I live to write. And above all else, I want to be a writer for my readers. With sincerity and truth about who I am. I hope it gets reflected positively in what I say, regardless of the topic at the moment. I gave in to the excitement of getting to write that I forgot about the foundation that will clarify my message. I need to search my guts to see how this will continue to grow; how I will grow as a writer and listener and learner as well.
My site’s headline is actually on some scale counter-intuitive to my essence. Life is in abundance to what you can live without. But I’m not Thoreau and I’m imperfect so a play on his famous quote, “A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone” is why the tagline and why my Instagram name, cannotlivewithout_btw was formed. Maybe it’s to paint a little color into Thoreau’s worldview.