10 years ago…on my way to the best physique of my life. Happy, content, driven, very, very busy. I paid for a gym membership and went 6 days a week for at least two hours a day. Running, weight-lifting, aerobics, everything. Abs! I had a six-pack and muscle definition that made people ask me if I worked out!
I want that body back. Not for the look of it – I thought I was too muscular. But I want that body that did that work. The determination to fight my fear of running long distances. The body and the mind that just did it. And felt disgusting when she didn’t.
I wasn’t really that obsessed, but in a way I was very determined. Working out was a part of my day that was always fit in no matter the homework, the grueling job, or relationship problems that could of easily set me back or given me an excuse. Now I need to step it up. And I might need some help. I don’t want another membership right now. (I know that can be motivating in of itself.) Okay, here comes the excuse number 1. It’s freaking cold and wet outside where I live now. But, I purchased a coat for this. I need to open the package and put it on and go out the door for a run. Yes, a run. Not a walk. Walking is too boring. Ok, I’ll check back in later and let you know the progress. Also, I own two 2 lb. dumbbells and ankle weights. I know I’ve got more dumbbells somewhere….
It’s a mind thing.
Please, whatever you do, don’t tell me “you got this.” I hate that. It’s so overused??? I don’t got it, that’s why I’m writing about it. That’s why I posted those old Polaroids. It’s all I have left. I had other pictures, but they’ve long ago been erased on someone’s old phone. If I had them, you wouldn’t believe it was me. Was it the happiest I’d ever been? Nope. It was the most driven I ever had been. Some still say I burned the candle at both ends. I personally don’t have the “body goals” necessarily that I will say began to really, really drive me. But I didn’t when I started 12 years ago.
SO WHAT’S STOPPING ME? ME.
Please share your fitness goals with me. I would love to hear your inspiring stories, or even your shared stupidity about caring for your body and mind in one of the most invigorating, sensual experiences I know. Maybe you and I can pull each other along. Whether it’s your first run, or your nine-hundredth. Let me know how your doing it! Thanks!